


My Thoughts Touching Every Second

by Memories_of_the_Shadows



Category: Naruto
Genre: Boys In Love, Dildos, Fluff and Smut, Glass Dildos, Hobbies, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Insomnia, Intercrural Sex, Internal Monologue, It provides a lot of time in which to do things, Kaiju Dildos, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Letters, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Masturbation, One Shot, Overstimulation, Prostate Milking, Romantic Gestures, Schmoop, Sex Toys, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Temperature Play, Trust Kink, Trust as an Act of Love, Which Is Extremely Sappy, Which are wide and varied and mostly strange, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, abdominal bulge, letter sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-09-30 11:14:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20446226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memories_of_the_Shadows/pseuds/Memories_of_the_Shadows
Summary: Lee is perhaps not the only one for which the long separations make for more of acarnalinterest in things.





	My Thoughts Touching Every Second

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eliyes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliyes/gifts).

> The title comes from "Beloved" by VNV Nation. Many, many thanks to [Uintuva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uintuva/pseuds/Uintuva) for the beta. Any remaining errors are mine and mine alone and I feel exceedingly protective over them.
> 
> I do not consent to my work being hosted on any unofficial apps, especially any with ad revenue and subscription services, or any website other than ao3 unless I personally cross-posted a work.

Lee doesn’t get out to Suna enough. He’s busy with teaching, missions, and taking care of Gai-sensei; and he knows Gaara is busy too, as Kazekage he’s busier than Lee by far, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t _miss_ him.

They write letters. Lee’s tend towards pages and pages of flowery prose and occasionally romantic declarations of devotion and fervent depictions of what could only be described as courtly love. (Gai-sensei taught him well in everything Lee should know about life as a taijutsu master, from the basic forms, to training his body beyond what people assumed were its’ limits, to the power of friendship, to the wooing of the one you love. Truly, his sensei has a life lesson for every question Lee ever has.)

Gaara’s--much like the desert he comes from--letters tend to be a bit more… rough.

_‘I thought about you again today, the way you stretch out on my sheets, the sweat on your skin. You make me want things I never thought I could have, I just want to fill you and keep you. Make you mine in a way no one can dispute.’_

Lee doesn’t let anyone else read Gaara’s letters to him. Sometimes even he can’t read the letters--they make his face burn bright red and, well, require some _privacy_\--not right away. They make him long for Suna in many ways, if only because Gaara is there. (He’s offered to move there before, has thought about it more than once, but the truth is he can’t let go of being a shinobi just yet, and, well, the last thing that Suna needs is more shinobi when she can barely support the ones she has now. He imagines one day, when he is retired, going to Suna to grow old with his love--like Gai-sensei is doing with his eternal rival--but he is only thirty and that day feels very far off.)

But every once in a while, Naruto handpicks a mission for Lee; something in Kaze no Kuni if not in Suna itself, that would benefit from Lee’s skills but probably won’t be too difficult, and Naruto always adds a generous amount of time to the completion date.

He could do without the knowing wink and Naruto’s idea of subtle--which is thankfully better than Gai-sensei’s but much, much worse than Neji’s, Tenten’s, or even Sakura’s--congratulations and encouragements. Kakashi is clearly a bad influence even if he is Gai-sensei’s beloved Eternal Rival.

* * *

The mission takes even less time than Naruto had thought it would, something Lee is happy to attribute to not only being in the prime of his Youth but also a certain amount of… motivation.

Gaara meets him at the gates to Suna and Lee feels like he is about to burst from happiness. Gaara’s guards try to stop Lee from grabbing Gaara and swinging him around as they spin in a circle. Lee doesn’t recognize them so they must be new, but he barrels past them regardless and the way that Gaara melts into him so trustingly and breaths just a little easier than before makes his heart beat out of his chest.

“So _this_ is why you insisted on inspecting the gates, you insufferable brat of a Kage, fine, fine, I’ll clear the rest of your schedule for today and for the sake of the sands damned sun, Keijiro, Tohru, stop glaring at Gaara’s boyfriend before our _glorious_ leader takes offense,” Kankurou says, eyes rolling and tone snappish. The guards immediately snap into a fantastic impression of watchful yet impassive statues, but Lee just has to grin at Kankurou over Gaara’s head.

“My friend! Thank you so much for your kind thoughts, I know that I am here with very little warning and you know that I am perfectly happy--”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t fuck up my papers,” Gaara says abruptly, unexpectedly coarse, cutting Lee off from any attempt to let Gaara be dragged back to work. Not that Lee would _enjoy_ that but he knows his love is a very busy person. He tries not to feel selfishly elated that he didn’t manage to finish his sacrificial statement.

Kankurou grins at them crookedly, not bothered by Gaara’s glare or language, no doubt used to saying worse himself if Lee knows him at all. “Yeah, yeah, go have fun. I’ll be sure to only glue the _unimportant_ papers together.” Gaara snorts and drags Lee off by the hand, which he allows because it’s _his_ Gaara doing the dragging and it also makes butterflies flit around his stomach that they’re holding hands.

Lee never notices how calloused his hands are--most everyone he knows is the same way--except when he’s holding hands with Gaara; something that happens far less than either of them wishes. Gaara’s hands are the softest he’s ever felt; like a baby’s would be, he sometimes thinks, and he remembers that first fight, how hard it has been to get through Gaara’s sand and how panicked it made him. Gaara never talks about his childhood but Lee can’t help but think that he is one of the few that Gaara has ever touched his bare skin with--a thought that never fails to send illicit thrills up Lee’s spine. That trust--something long fought for and hard won--makes the long weeks and months apart worth it, makes it easy to pick up their relationship in person after only letters to go on.

His hands are always dry too, something that Lee cannot help but think is mostly confidence, although the desert around them probably plays a part as well. His mind wanders just a bit to how those dry hands would feel _other_, more private, places than his own hand, and how they would look wet with something less innocent than sweat or water. It has been a _very long time_ since the last time he has been in Suna.

“We’re here.” Gaara’s quiet statement brings Lee back to reality before anything too noticeable can happen, and Lee beams at his Gaara. They’re standing in front of the restaurant they had their first date in--a cheap, little hole-in-the-wall that has passable yakiniku with less popular cuts of meat than Lee normally sees in Konoha but the most excellent curry he has ever had--and he can just _feel_ the way he is sparkling at his partner’s romantic choice.

They order, but really, Lee only has eyes for Gaara. He’s happy they’re doing this again, making another memory that he’ll cherish at the same site where they _became_ a ‘they’. His date is quiet, lets Lee chatter on about Konoha and their mutual friends until even Lee has run out of things to say that wouldn’t border on treason and his curry is lukewarm but still delicious. He wants to hear everything about Gaara that didn’t make it into the letters but his partner obviously can’t say much about his work, and doesn’t talk much to begin with.

He’s learned to enjoy the quiet at times though--he’s not the mocked and too often falling behind his peers child anymore, not with a solid career behind him and the respect of those same peers around him now--so he just stares at the afternoon light filtering through Gaara’s hair and smiles. It feels like a dream. He’s not ready to wake up from it. He’s not sure he ever will be.

Gaara’s lips tilt up in response. “I picked up a new hobby,” he says, and it’s not such a surprise. Gaara’s work ethic--although pointed more towards building up Suna than his own body like Lee’s--is just as prodigious as his own. The lingering insomnia he’s had as long as Lee has known him allows him much more time in the day _to_ have hobbies _and_ one of the cleanest desks of anyone who is at all close to being a paper-nin.

A lot of hobbies have cropped up for Gaara over the years, and Lee feels his chest glow and expand with pride over how accomplished--not just on the battlefield, but in his personal life as well--his love is. Origami, papercrafting, sewing, many more, and this newest one.

“Oh? That’s exciting!” That small smile is his reward again.

“Mmm. An extension of a new chakra exercise I have been trying.” Lee will keep that part quiet. Gaara trusts him maybe too much, but it makes him feel warmer than the Kaze sun. He won’t betray it. (Luckily, Naruto would never put him in that position anyway.) “Would you like to see?”

“Of course!” Nothing would make him happier. To this day he remains fond of a darned sock that Gaara fixed for him.

* * *

Lee is perhaps not the only one for which the long separations make for more of a _carnal_ interest in things.

For instance, there are an incredible amount of hand-pulled glass dildoes in this room.

They’re… kind of lovely, actually, all of them gleaming, some colored, some not. Some of them he would never guess they are dildoes if he saw them by themselves, but, well, the company they keep makes their purpose a little more obvious.

The one that has pride of place in the middle of the room makes no illusions about what it is but Lee does not think there is an actual dick in the world that is _that_ big. The word ‘dildo’ doesn’t seem to fit something that large. ‘Sculpture’ works better.

“This is an… impressive collection! You have become very dedicated to this hobby!” He suspects that more than a few of them will appear in his dreams. He _hopes_ at least one will show up in his pack before he leaves for Konoha.

“I had… inspiration.” Lee feels very light-headed at the glance Gaara gives him. It feels very warm in his jumpsuit. And it’s just a bit too tight. “Would you like to try one?”

The answer to that is definitely yes. He scans the collection again, but Gaara’s eyes are definitely drawn to the one in the middle of the room. The _large_ one. The sculpture. Gaara even drifts closer to it. 

Lee’s not stupid. He can take a hint. Clearly this is something Gaara wants but he’s not even sure it’s possible.

“How am I supposed to fit _that_ in _me_?” Lee asks, staring at Gaara’s sculpture. He tries to imagine it and what he comes up with is… heating. He’s not sure if his skin feels like a jumpsuit three sizes too small from trepidation or arousal but he’s willing to try it and find out.

“A lot of lube,” Gaara says flatly, poking the cool, rounded tip. “And time.” He frowns just a little bit more than his normal resting frown. “And preparation.” Gaara huffs, and Lee can hear the irritation in that small noise. It makes him think that Lee is not the first person Gaara has tested this dildo on and the idea of seeing _Gaara_\--_his_ Gaara--trying to work himself onto this, seeing it disappear into him, sends a flash of heat through him faster than even he can run without his weights.

“You--” his throat is dry, but it’s not because he’s in a desert--Lee knows well enough that he needs to maintain his hydration levels, and how--so he licks his lips until he feels he can speak without croaking, “you could show me?”

Gaara sends him a brief look and Lee can feel the weight of his assessment in his lover’s--_Lover_! That very word makes him shiver with longing still, even after all the time that has passed that he could use it--stare. Gaara’s finger drags down the side of the dildo almost clinically. Lee still finds it seductive, and he knows that if Gaara were to throw him out of his rooms right now--something he’s sure would never happen--the unbelievably cool and sleek lines of his jumpsuit would betray exactly how seductive he finds just everything about Gaara.

“Okay. I can show you,” Gaara says. Lee’s heart approaches speeds that are better suited to opening the eight gates and he jumps to fulfill Gaara’s only requirement. “You’re going to have to work for it.”

Lee is very good at working for what he wants.

* * *

Lee can’t take how beautiful Gaara looks, trembling and moaning around the dildo, the thick base the only part he can see except for the small bump that appears in his stomach--right where the dildo is, right where that tip is piercing him--whenever Gaara settles fully down onto it, his little rocking movements like a game of hide and seek with that bump.

He strokes it, the next time it appears, and Gaara’s skin practically vibrates under his fingertips. He wonders if it would feel as good on his cock as it does on his fingers, and Gaara makes a broken, gasping sound. “Oh, fuck me, fuck me,” he says and tries to speed up a little, working himself off and onto the dildo with impatience that Gaara so rarely displays. His lover is _gorgeous_, sweat plastering his red hair to his tattoo, and yelping, moaning, _gasping_ his pleasure.

Gaara’s thighs are coated in lube from their _thorough_ preparation for this, and come from the constant overstimulation--all of which means this is everything Lee could have ever asked for, but didn’t even know was possible--but if Lee could want just one more thing it would be to feel that hard muscle tremble around his cock as he thrusts between those beautiful legs. “Please, Gaara, please, let me-- let me, just--” Lee begs, hardly able to say anything at all while just Gaara pants, head rolling and cock twitching in what looks like him coming another time, wrung dry by the previous ones but still lolling in waves of pleasure from the constant pressure on his prostate.

“Yes, please, _yes_, just fuck me, oh _sands_ fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, unhhh.” Lee cannot even speak, just pushes Gaara’s legs together--something that draws a yelp from his beautiful lover that quickly devolves into a wordless noise of overstimulation and arousal--and he thrusts up into the shivering channel that it forms.

The head of his dick hits the glass base--which is not quite body warm like Lee imagines the shaft of it is and he both wants to pull away from it and press closer at the same time--Gaara’s balls framing his dick as he thrusts shallowly.

The tight muscles of Gaara’s thighs clench around him and Lee loves this man, loves him in a way that he can never express no matter how many words he says or how many times he tries, and he thinks that Gaara loves him too; the way that a trembling hand combs through his hair and frames his face for a messy kiss that misses most of its mark but feels all the better for it.

Lee buries his face in Gaara’s strained neck and comes, aching for forever with him and the right words to say to keep it. He thinks he comes on the base of Gaara’s dildo and can’t help but imagine it painting Gaara’s hole as well: stretched and red around the transparent glass, dripping with lube, and now coated in his come as well… it’s almost enough to keep him hard.

Gaara shoves at him lightly, though, clearly done for the moment, and Lee begins the slow careful process of removing his lover from the dildo. He wonders--smiling brightly at the love of his life--if Gaara can be convinced to share his inevitable shower afterward.

It’s all in the name of water conservation, of course. That’s an important thing in Suna. Gaara’s Kazekage, he should be setting a good precedent.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a very intense thing to write, and very difficult for me. I ship GaaLee--who doesn't really--but I've never written anything like this before. Lee is just so _in love_ that it felt like pulling teeth to get him to stop waxing poetic about Gaara and get to the raunchy sex XD. The inspiration for the massive fucking dildo they use is [here](https://www.amazon.com//dp/B006WXF0FY/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdo_t1_OyjADbNXC1DJC), [here](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0076OYSYW/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdo_t1_-NjADbA9KG7GK), and [here](https://girlyjuice.net/i-made-my-own-glass-dildo/). (As an aside, please be careful buying any sex toys from amazon and if anyone can give the links for those from a more reputable dealer I'll be happy to change them.) In any case, I hope everyone--but _especially_ [Eliyes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliyes/pseuds/Eliyes) for whom this was made--enjoys it!
> 
> Yes, I still have a [tumblr](https://sachinighte.tumblr.com/) on which I talk about literally nothing and merely endlessly reblog my newest obsession.


End file.
